AmericanBoy to Beaver: NO MORE BUSH!

**Please come join TheAmericanBoy in Beaver County, PA over the next few days to get the vote out. Housing and food will be provided for all volunteers. Contact the local Beaver, PA office @ 1701 3rd St Beaver, PA 15009 - (724)728-3547 for more information, tell ‘em Mikey and Brett sent ya! Get in touch with AmericanBoy staff info@theamericanboy.net to find out how you can help. If you can’t afford the time, please consider making a small donation to offset the overhead of our volunteers**

Dear Friends,

Happy Halloween!

The scariest thing today for most folks will not be ghosts and ghouls, AIDS candy, or pedophiles, but the thought of another four years of Republican leadership at what has become the most haunted house in recent memory the White House. As much comfort as the polls can give, I still have never been this scared on Halloween. I’m sickened each time Sarah Palin takes the stage as thoughts of President Palin and being forced to live as a Christian Fundamentalist crowd my brain. With every lie that McCain spreads about how much he’ll help the middle class, I cringe. It’s scary that there are still at least 40% of people that really believe him, and that truly think he’s a better choice than Barack Obama; it’s insane. Joe the Plumber? Get the eff outta here. What kind of Mickey Mouse campaign are they running?

Friends, get up, get out, and make sure you vote on Election day. Take off work, get the kids a sitter, cut class, but damnit, get the vote out. Remember, all the momentum, all the hype, all that we’ve worked for over the last two years matters not, if on election day, we don’t take the polls by storm.

The American Boy, is packing up shop and taking this show on…

Do What the Pumpkin Says…..

This is what happens when we get bored after voting early…..

-Nikropht

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McCain’s Athletic Supporters Too Small For Obama

Perhaps more so this election than ever before, celebrities have not only been endorsing specific candidates, but also have been joining them on the campaign trail. Just recently, brain trustee, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, wife of former quarterback Tim Hasselbeck, joined Sarah Palin for a meeting of the minds in an attempt to solidify the ‘if you have half a brain, you’ll vote McCain’ argument. It got me thinking, if Obama and McCain had a fantasy sports team made up of their respective supporters, who would win? Let’s take a peek at some prominent names for Obama and the athletic supporters of John McCain.

• Football: Hmm… tough call. On one hand, there seems to be a reason that Obama is winning the war on the ground (Bettis, Smith, Martin, Harris, Paterno), and McCain has stuck to negative campaigning through the air (Elway, Aikman, Brady, Ditka). We’ll have to go with exactly what McCain is finding out: if you can’t win on the ground, you’re not going to be very effective through the air.  Result: Obama
• Basketball: No contest here, McCain is no baller. With Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Patrick Ewing, and Lebron James as your starting five, and Kevin Johnson, Grant Hill, Chauncey Billups, Alonzo Mourning, etc. on the bench, Obama is the clear cut winner. Result: Obama
• Baseball: Another toughie, with no supporters to speak of, Obama faces an upward battle in this sport. While Curt Shilling definitely hurts the McCain campaign, Nolan Ryan is definitely a key player and picks up the slack of whiner Curt Shilling. Al Leiter is pretty nice too. Result: McCain
• Hockey: No eligible voters in NHL. Result: Tie
• Golf: With…

Palin Viagra For McCain’s New Direction?

In response to further weakening of already flaccid polls,  Sarah Palin is once again attempting to fluff up the McCain campaign by hitting the streets of Ohio talking about her John’s new direction. Part of taking care of her man includes lathering further criticism on anyone who stands in his way.

Yesterday Palin didn’t know it existed, but today she is confident “<i>The Los Angeles Times</i> could win the Pulitzer Prize for cow-towing.” For those of you, like myself, unfamiliar with the folksy colloquialisms used by Palin, it means ass kissing. Perhaps, if they took that Pulitzer Prize and piled it on to the 37 others they’ve won for journalistic merit, then you could climb to the top and see Russia or maybe even Japan. It’s interesting actually; despite that you automatically think Hollywood elitist liberal when you think of Los Angeles, the paper has had a conservative history. Although recently it’s taken a more centrist standpoint (a little known fact to west coast illiterates), it hasn’t endorsed anyone for president in 36 years, until Barack Obama. One might argue that it’s kept its nose far away from the bull, I mean cow. But, then again, I suppose it’s reasonable to assume that with a Bachelors in Journalism from the University of Idaho, you’d be properly qualified to accurately make the ‘cow-towing’ assertion, even if you hadn’t actually read the paper… or knew it existed.

The latest gripe media savvy, book smart Sarah Palin has with reading is that the <i>Times</i> refuses to release a tape of Barack Obama being in the same room with another highly respected college professor who dingle berries in the GOP suggest has had ties to the PLO. With these unsubstantiated and highly controversial claims, Plain once again ignores a) the facts b) people who live in glass…

Welcome to GOPU!

Dear Prospective Student,

Thank you for your interest in the Grand Old Party University. GOPU has a long and storied tradition dating back over 150 years. We look forward to welcoming you to our selective and prestigious ranks. Here you will find some background information on everything that GOPU has to offer. Go Alabasters!

Diverse Student Body

Diversity at GOPU is paramount. That is why we pride ourselves on the fact that our student body is made of up white Christians from all walks of life from all over this great nation.

Financial Aid

GOPU recognizes that in these tough times not everyone is in the same boat when it comes to paying for a quality education. Students from families with an income of less $5 million will be eligible for financial aid.

Athletics

The Fighting Alabasters of GOPU have a rich tradition of competitive athletics. Featured sports include polo, quail hunting, croquet, tennis, golf and extreme snowboarding.

Complete Freedom and Flexibility

Here at GOPU, students are free to make their own decisions contoured to their best interests academically. Unless you are doing something we feel is morally reprehensible, GOPU doesn’t get involved.

Academic Programs

The foundation of GOPU’s continued excellence is rooted in our comprehensive academic programs along with an exemplary staff dedicated to challenging its students. Here are some highlights from our undergraduate course catalog:

International Relations 101

This entry-level political science class is taught by tenured professor George W. Bush. It delves into the inner workings of foreign policy and how a leader can impose his will on the rest of the free world.

Advanced Media Studies: Journalism vs. Tabloids

One of our most respected instructors, Rupert Murdoch, teaches this advanced media course in which students will learn the importance of fair and balanced reporting. Students will study top-notch works of journalism as well as tabloids such as The New York Times…