The media is inundated and consumed by the task the government has cast upon them. Look at the timeline of this recent fiasco, if you blinked, you missed it. They’ve been charged with making sense out of and cutting through the bull of this hurricane of ‘bipartisan’ ridiculousness. Stuck in the middle of the eye, having no idea what to forcast, hard questions for policy makers have been ignored in order to maintain the magnetic cohesion that polarized a hereto unreliable and inept congress.

Let’s talk about some.

Since when dose the Republican party platform endorse making the government bigger and immediately increasing the spending of that government?

When I grew up in the era of Regan and his ‘omics’, the modern day patriarch of conservative republicanism, I learned a little French. “Laissez-faire”, translated literally means “Let do”. Applied to Economics, it means don’t do…anything. Rather, “Let it happen. C’mon… Let it happen.” Supply side economists aka Republicans (like Regan, HW Bush, Worse Bush, and McCain) do not advocate government interference into the private sector. Perhaps you’ve heard of “Trickle-Down”, referring not to the shit being poured on the middle class, but the thought that money flows like a pyramid. They accomplish this by making tax cuts and deregulating industries so that government doesn’t ‘crowd out’ private investment. A bailout and increased regulation would constitute treason to supply side economics.

Hmm.. Mikey, according to that theory, wouldn’t a bailout ‘crowd out’ private investment?

In the words of Sarah Palin, maverick reformer, “Darn right it would.” Let’s take a look. Say for instance you buy something for a dollar thinking that it’ll be worth two dollars. It then takes a turn for the worse and drops to fifty cents. You don’t want to make a move on it and take a huge loss because what if it goes up? It doesn’t go up and now it’s worth fifteen cents. You’re broke, you don’t want to sell and no one really wants to buy it, but times are getting really tough. You realize that the position is not going to pay off in the short run and since you want your money NOW! you whine. The government hears you because “somehow” your voice is loud and meaningful (unlike the folks dealing with Katrina). They tell you, we’ll take care of you, and they do. Things are great for you, and life goes on… until your friend has the same problem, but he remembers what happened when you got in deep. Government threw you a line and you’re doin’ alright. So instead of taking a fair deal on his assets, he holds out because the government paid you way more than you deserved. He shuns offers to liquidate in hopes that a similar fate will befall him. Now something happens to his friend and their friends and so on. Now no one is willing to get liquid and since all you guys had all the money in the first place, the ability to self-liquidate has long since passed. You can’t sell, a) because you don’t want to b) no one has any cash to buy.

I’m confused, you just said that Republicans try to avoid this sort of thing occurring through processes of deregulation and limiting government spending.

Well sir, I did, and it doesn’t take a rocket science to see the causal relationship that long run reaganomics and monetarist policy has to the current situation we’re in.

Mikey, this bail out is nessecary, because what you said about there being no money is true.

Word. A bailout is necessary, in the Keynesian sense. For instance, spending money to help people repay their mortgages. This would add value to the mortgage backed securities, and take care of the problem of the middle class still not being able to afford their housing.

Well what did this bailout accomplish?

It gave assholes on Wall St who took advantage of the middle-class another chance. Pretty much wiped the slate clean. In the thought that they’ll be wiser this time around. They’ll put some rules in place like training wheels.

My head hurts. What should I take away from this?

You should take a real hard look at what the Republican platform is. Furthermore, you should consider the fact that John McCain, self proclaimed champion of the bipartisan effort to pass the bailout, is not really a Republican at all. He wants you to think he is, but no so much. John McCain and the actions hes advocated through the last weeks of his campaign, aka regulation and government intervention… could have run against Bush in 2004.

So what’s the difference betwen Obama and McCain?

Intelligence and integrity. McCain is vastly different than what he’d like you to believe every time he makes references to his past. Don’t be fooled, he’s called himself a  ’populist’ but he confused that with ’ass kissing flip flopping douche puppet’.

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