Miss California: Wrong But Still Way Smarter Than You

This day and age it seems that “controversy” is giving apple pie a run for its money as far as all things American Iconic are concerned; everyone wants a piece apparently. Frankly it’s embarrassing and the latest hoopla over the Miss USA pageant is absolutely absurd and certainly no exception.

In case you haven’t heard, Perez Hilton, asked Miss California during the pageant what she thought about gay marriage. She answered, apparently inappropriately, because half of the country now thinks the content of her response cost her the crown. I sure hope not, because that’s pretty damn sad.

Let’s take it from the top.

1) Perez Hilton is judging the contest, Why? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like Perez Hilton just as much as the next guy, but I don’t follow the logic behind vetting him as a qualified judge. Unless of course the poor excuse for a former epic tradition that has since suffered a slow and painful death of popularity, in what can only be imagined as a final seizure during it’s battle to maintain the dignity and integrity it may once have enjoyed, hired him as a ratings booster. Nothing like a little controversy, right? Just for a second, just to see how it feels.

2) Why would you ask a person who is 18 years old and has spent most of her life behind a mirror an incredibly charged political hot button question to which she almost certainly has no adequate response. Did I miss something, do they now judge that part of the contest on how well you can evade isolating half of America? Perhaps the follow question could be something like, “Do you…

Where my Gubs At, Put One Hand Up

I don’t understand the Republican and NeoCon love affair with Illinois Gov Rod Blagojevich; I just can’t get it. When the first news of this possible scandal hit the airwaves was my thoughts were, “Damn this is going to revitalize the neocon base and start the wood chopping all over again.”, but I was wrong. Today I was asked by an ultra conservative, fundamentalist christian about what I thought of Rod Blagojevich. Previously I’ve had conversations about politics with this person and figured that they’d use the Blagojevich news to demonstrate the lack of moral fortitude of my side of the ballot. So I sheepishly replied that I thought he should be thrown in jail and that any abuse of power by an elected official, republican or democrat, for personal or political gain, should be considered almost treasonous, as it puts the country at war with one mans self interest. I should have known better. I should have watched more FoxNews. Her response, “Ehh I don’t know, my husband read a book, and Rod did a lot of great things for the state of Illinois. Did you know that he gave a book to every child every month in order to get them out of a rutt? He did a lot of good, I don’t know…”  I was floored. I didn’t have to disown him, which I gladly would have, because she had already adopted Blagojevich.

These people don’t care at all about Blagojevich’s actions, at all. The only thing they care about is whether or not they get to point the “I told you Obama is no saint” finger as soon as they can. It’s…

Obama Resigns, Hillary Hired.

Not exactly the headline you’d expect to see Sunday morning as you stop at the bottom of the driveway, bend down, pick up the paper, and make the habitual groggy-steaming-coffee-in-hand-slipper-footed-robe-donned turn back toward the homestead, circa 8:20am, thirty-five minutes before firing up the ole minivan, loading up the kids, and driving to choir practice, but nonetheless a definite possible preview of a tribune near you. The first portion of the headline, much to the chagrin of Republicans everywhere, primarily those known for two-word only headline skimming, who in the resulting fit of joy, happily call friends and family in western times zones waking them up at ungodly hours only to find out a minute too late that A) it does not refer to Obama’s Presidential-Elect position but rather his Senate seat B) that’s only the beginning of the problem.

It’s a fact that there are plenty of Northeastern Republican supporters who absolutely despise Hillary Clinton’s existence. Stemming all the way back to when she loaded up all the carpet she had, put it in a really big bag, slung it over her shoulder, and moved to New York, there’s a lot of bitterness left over from her ascension to Pat Moynihan’s vacated senate seat at the very moment most Clinton family haters thought they’d finally be rid of Clintons in government. Eight years later, another sigh of relief for Republicans was had at the hands of Barack Obama, an unlikely dark horse candidate, who narrowly defeated a would be shoo-in for President, Hillary Clinton. Four months later, despite a statistical dead heat at the beginning of the race, a lengthy head start for Republican candidate John…

AK Yams’ WTF Moments of the Week

Hello, readers. Welcome to a new segment called “AK Yams’ WTF Moments of the Week.” This column will be dedicated to pointing out moments that make sane people say “WTF?” Hope you enjoy!

President-Elect Barack Obama is already helping to stimulate the economy. According to MSNBC, faced with the prospect of stiffer gun-control laws under an Obama administration, firearm enthusiasts everywhere began stocking up on weapons as if Al-Qaeda themselves were docking in downtown Boise.

Listen, I understand people hunt; many Americans in rural America rely on firearms to hunt game which feed their families. I understand people have an infatuation with guns and collect them; just like I have a guitar collection. What I have trouble understanding is the notion that if everyone had guns, people would be safer and random shootings would not happen because potential shooters would be aware of the consequences. Another common opinion is that automobiles can kill people too, so why are people allowed to drive cars if we can’t have guns? This logic is so backwards that it’s hard to know where to start.

First of all, the primary function of an automobile is to get from Point A to Point B. When someone is killed along the way, we call it an ‘accident.’  When guns kill people, they are serving their primary function, regardless of the circumstances. The purpose of a gun is to shoot and kill someone or something. There’s no argument there. That’s what guns are for.

Secondly, assuming that we’d all be safer if trained, licensed firearm owners carried weapons is also a bit disconcerting. What’s to stop a trained, licensed firearm carrier from opening fire in a public…

Now What!?

In case you didn’t catch the news last night or today, Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama is now President Elect Barack Obama. Mission accomplished, right? Now it’s time to move forward, because there’s a steaming pile waiting to greet him at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

(Reasonable) McCain supporters: You voted for a candidate and he lost. I’m sure you have your reasons and I respect that, even though I disagree with you. Maybe you have a certain level of income that could be threatened under an Obama administration, you are adamantly opposed to abortion, or you support the war in Iraq. I can’t identify, but once again, I have to respect your opinions and political stance.

[Un(Reasonable)] McCain supporters: You can’t even begin to fathom how 52% of America voted for a socialist with no record or experience; they must have been either tricked by his empty promises or have felt like it was the politically correct thing to do. I’ve seen posts all over the place with people saying that Obama is not their president, or they’ll never recognize Obama as president (kind of like how terrorist organizations refuse to recognize Israel’s existence despite the obvious reality). Hopefully, you will calm down and realize that Obama is in fact pro-America and deeply cares for all of her citizens. People are expecting some level of extreme leftism out of Obama, but I really feel like he’s going to be more left-center. He may disappoint conservatives for being too liberal, but he will also disappoint liberals for not being liberal enough.

Whether you agree with Barack Obama or not, you cannot deny the fact that he succeeded in inspiring millions…