You Must Give Your Cape and Scepter to Me…

You know who’s living the American dream? Karl Rove, the original Joe the Plumber. Karl, I don’t have a college degree or any sort of objective experience to speak of, but have somehow landed a job as a political analyst despite being fired by several campaigns, doing myriads of unscrupulous deeds, and leading what many to consider to be the most unethical campaign ever, followed by serving as chief adviser to a man who even more refer to as the worst president ever, Rove. If you think your circumstances were hindering or your childhood life was bad, you’re wrong. Karl Rove’s were much, much worse. For most of his life, he erroneously believed the man who raised him was his biological father, only to find out upon leaving his mother on account of being homosexual that in fact he was his adoptive father. Twelve years later, his mother committed suicide. Guys like Karl Rove should inspire all Americans and reinforce that anyone can do anything, make lots of money, and have lots of people honestly believe they have something worthwhile to say, without having to start a cult.

But even Dio, who had his day in the sun, had to pass the torch, and so it’s time for Karl to follow suit. The dream is over, and the ride was nice. It made for some great Daily Show episodes, but has run its course; Karl Rove has no business making any comment on future American politics. Yet recently, Karl Rove stated that he was impressed with the make up of Obama’s economic advisory board. Considering Karl Rove has proven to be the anti-Midas, turning everything he touches into mud,…