Obama to Senate Republicans: Eat It, Biznatch.

You might have thought that Obama had a hot bod before, but if there was any doubt, today Obama flexed his political muscle and announced that there will be no earmarks on his stimulus package. To the untrained eye, it seems like a harmless and welcomed statement, but to Senate Republicans, it’s a big F-U. There will be no buying of votes this time, no compromises. Republicans will just have to suck it up and vote for or against it solely on the actual merritt of the bill, no non-germane amendments, knowing full well that their names and votes will forever be etched, side by side, in history.

The reason this is epic stems from the fact that most Republicans knew that his stimulus package would pass, but most likely figured they could at the very least get something out of it. It’s a lose/lose situation for them politically, but at least if they could sneak in some funding for their constituency it would make it a little easier for their voters to stomach.

Let me ask you which Republican is going to filibuster this stimulus package? Who will lay down their political career in order to jump on this anti-conservative hand grenade?

No One. Eat it, Biznatch.

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This Week on Punk’d: Republican Senator Mel Martinez

Retiring from politics in 2010 at the ripe age of 62, Mel Martinez (R-FL), who won his seat by a very small margin in 2004, will thereby avoid a very tough bid for re-election. Martinez’s policy positions closely mimic those of current President George Bush who at the time of the 2008 election had a 9% approval rating in Florida. Nine percent does seem a little high to us, but then again is it really that surprising after how wonderfully the war in Iraq has gone combined with the thought of what the Social Security situation in Florida would be like if Bush had been successful in privatizing it? Well one thing is for sure, apparently Martinez is the only Republican in Florida that understands that scandalous activity and even a minor connection to George Bush is devastating enough to derail almost anyone’s political career. And so, gracefully and dutifully, he won’t seek re-election in 2010.

Wonder what Martinez is thinking now that CNN is reporting that Republicans are URGING former Florida Gov. Jeb “I’ll have to change my name to win” Bush to run for his vacated seat. Probably something along the lines of, “Am I being Punk’d? Ashton Kutcher, you bastard, where are the cameras? Jeb Bush, really? Haha, you got me good, you SOB!”

To his credit, Jeb has definitely been the least directly harmful Bush in politics. Among the very worst things he did as Gov of Florida was to slash a ton of funding for pubic libraries and after school programs and support the pro-life request for Teri Schiavo to be kept ‘alive’ on life support. He actually left office in 2006 with…