Obama Resigns, Hillary Hired.

Not exactly the headline you’d expect to see Sunday morning as you stop at the bottom of the driveway, bend down, pick up the paper, and make the habitual groggy-steaming-coffee-in-hand-slipper-footed-robe-donned turn back toward the homestead, circa 8:20am, thirty-five minutes before firing up the ole minivan, loading up the kids, and driving to choir practice, but nonetheless a definite possible preview of a tribune near you. The first portion of the headline, much to the chagrin of Republicans everywhere, primarily those known for two-word only headline skimming, who in the resulting fit of joy, happily call friends and family in western times zones waking them up at ungodly hours only to find out a minute too late that A) it does not refer to Obama’s Presidential-Elect position but rather his Senate seat B) that’s only the beginning of the problem.

It’s a fact that there are plenty of Northeastern Republican supporters who absolutely despise Hillary Clinton’s existence. Stemming all the way back to when she loaded up all the carpet she had, put it in a really big bag, slung it over her shoulder, and moved to New York, there’s a lot of bitterness left over from her ascension to Pat Moynihan’s vacated senate seat at the very moment most Clinton family haters thought they’d finally be rid of Clintons in government. Eight years later, another sigh of relief for Republicans was had at the hands of Barack Obama, an unlikely dark horse candidate, who narrowly defeated a would be shoo-in for President, Hillary Clinton. Four months later, despite a statistical dead heat at the beginning of the race, a lengthy head start for Republican candidate John…

Lost in a Blizzard of Words: Thoughts Behind The Storm!

Soo… about that. It kinda begs the question, what the heck were you doing around sayyyyyyy early 2002?

An artistic interpretation of Palin’s thoughts during the interview:

“The Bush Doctrine, isn’t that a book in the Bible? No? Oh snap. Well it’s probably pretty sweet. Did I mention that I don’t know anything about Foreign policy, I really hope not. Hows my hair? Oh right…focus Sarah! Umm Pakistan… Pakistan… Pakistan… that’s like, next to Iraq right? Like… PakIran, maybe it’s below Iran, next to AfganIran. God I wish I believed in condoms, then maybe I’d have had more time to worry about national issues rather than getting knocked up… I wonder if the Vice President gets maternity leave… Hmm what should I name my next kid? Maybe, Dolt. That goes pretty well with Trig and Track, or maybe I could name him Frick or Frack. Man I haven’t shot anything in like two weeks. War sounds just like the ticket! Ugh, I think I’m blowing this question. Well, no one can disagree that I’m a great pipe layer…”

and Charlie Gibson’s thought process during her response:

“Ahh crap, you’re kidding me right. What the heck is wrong with McCain. Oh wait, I get it… Austin come out! Where are you? Where are the hidden cameras? Hahaha I always wanted to get punked. This one’s pretty good. Wait… She’s still talking. She’s serious? Geez, I better spoon feed her the answer or I’m never going to get another interview with a Republican candidate. Ok.. she finallly mustered through it… Let me ask her an easier question about attacking an ally, she can’t get this wrong… Fuck.”

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